with special guest, Mimic the Ditto from the PokéWars

(Curtain opens)
ICY:  Hello everyone!  Welcome to the greatest show in the pokéworld universe!
(Icy looks around)
ICY:  That's odd...  Hyper usually is out here ready to insult me around now.
(Screams are heard backstage.  Leafy comes running out with Hyper close behind)
LEAFY:  Help me!
HYPER:  Get back here!  You're not ready yet!
ICY:  Hyper, what are you doing to Leafy now?
HYPER:  Uhh...  I'm getting her ready for my segment on Oddish hairstyles.
ICY:  I thought I told you no hurting Leafy anymore.
HYPER:  It wouldn't hurt if she would just stay still.
LEAFY:  Please keep him away from me.
ICY:  Hyper, stay away from Leafy.
HYPER:  But, my act...
ICY:  Ohh, just juggle Jigglypuffs.
(Hundreds of Jigglypuffs fall from the ceiling)
SOMEONE IN AUDIENCE:  Aghh!  Evil Jigglypuffs!
(One of the Jigglypuffs jumps on him and starts drawing on his face.  Audience laughs hysterically.)
ICY:  Hmm.  That was unexpected...
PIN:  I'll save us! (readies pin attack)
ICY:  No, wait!
(Pin fires its needles at the Jigglypuffs popping them and sending tons of Jigglydebris everywhere.)
ICY:  Ohhh... (sweatdrops)
CATERPIES:  Is it time for our segment yet.
ICY:  Don't think so.  It's now time for our special guest, Mimic!
(Mimic appears on stage and turns into microphone, then plugs himself into studio's audio system)
ICY:  Hi Mimic.  It's been a while since we last met.  Thanks for being a guest on the show.
MIMIC:  You welcome.  Mimic glad be here.
ICY:  Ok.  Let's get started.  What have been your current adventures in the PokéWars?
MIMIC:  Most recent? Meet Aerie, Seth, and Slasher. Seth be Mimic's son from future, with Maria. If Seth's future is true future, then Maria pregnant right now, though she not know, and she think James is father when she find out. Mimic let happen.
ICY:  What? But Seth's your SON! How can you just abandon him?
MIMIC:  Mimic no abandon! Seth turn out fine. Better, in fact, than if Mimic raise. Consider: as child, Seth think he human. Seth raised as human. Everyone accept as normal. But, what if Seth know he not normal? Others would learn. Seth doubt self, no have chance for normal childhood. No, child Seth better off without Mimic...not that Mimic not look in from time to time. (Besides, Mimic with Seth anyway...just not always with *child* Seth.)
ICY:  If you're looking to keep a secret, telling everyone like this seems a weird way to do it.
MIMIC:  Is ok. Is NC. ^_^
ICY:  Do you have any other family?
MIMIC:  Have Doppler. He brother...by raising only. No know who Mimic parents are. Oak raise Mimic from earliest memory, until Rockets take Mimic. Maybe Doppler is biological brother, maybe not. But then, Mimic no remember Oak until after escape Rockets. Maybe is more of Mimic past Mimic no can remember right now. (That would explain rumors Mimic hear of other Dittos who can shape-shift into other than pokémon.)
MIMIC:  Aerie Doppler daughter from future, thus Mimic niece. No know all sources of DNA for Aerie; Doppler probably one of several. He try engineer Aerie be perfect. Seth opinion aside, Aerie not quite perfect.
(Mimic quickly glances off-stage; Seth and Aerie are too absorbed in each other to notice his comment)
MIMIC:  Also count all pokémon - and all life - as family, if trace back far enough. That include Icy.
ICY:  To what extent can you shape-shift?
MIMIC:  No know full limits. Suspect can not be singularity, or mathematically impossible shapes. *Have* done wide range, under both Oak and Rockets. Mimic no can separate into multiple pieces, so must have at least thread connecting if want be, say, Pidgey and Diglett at once. Also can be machines, or anything else Mimic see. Mimic no seen Mew, Mewtwo, or Legendaries, but no particularly want to, after seeing what copying Mewtwo turn Doppler into. Besides, plenty of more powerful non-pokémon things can turn into.
ICY:  Most Dittos can't shape-shift into anything other than another pokémon, and even then, only when they can see the other pokémon. What makes you different?
MIMIC:  Oak train Mimic to remember. Was experiment. Work very well. Research help create new pokémon species: Porygons. No many Dittos can remember, but papers on research still around...buried in Oak's research computer network, most likely, but still there. Nobody dig enough to find knowledge, so as if knowledge no exist at all...is sad, really. Lots of idea treasure out there, if people only think to look. But, is life. Maybe people no look because papers have scary aura of 'science' on them...but no need be scared. Mimic read research; is easy to understand, if never give up try to understand, and you translate everything into words you *can* understand.
MIMIC:  As for shape-shift into other than pokémon...Mimic guess most trainers and Dittos never think to try. Was never problem for Mimic. But, Mimic hear "pokémon only battle pokémon"; think probably taint trainers' view of Dittos...and taint thoughts and actions of wild Dittos that trainers fight against. And, if never try, never *do*, for any action.
ICY:  Where are you from?
MIMIC:  No know. Suspect Ditto fields near Victory Road. Oak forget where find Mimic. If need hometown for Mimic, can call Pallet Town home, since that where Oak's lab is...but that not very accurate. Could call Cinnabar lab where Mimic usually stay when with Rockets 'home', but that even less accurate. And Mimic no remember life before Oak, so even Victory Road no is 'home'. Mimic is citizen of world, no any particular part of it.
ICY:  Who would you say are your current friends and enemies?
MIMIC:  Mimic count everyone as friend, unless have reason not to. No really have enemies right now, though would not mind see Team Rocket disband.
ICY:  But some friends are closer than others, right?
MIMIC:  Well...yes, Mimic suppose.
ICY:  What about Doppler? He's your brother, and yet...
MIMIC:  (angry) Doppler not really enemy - he just misled!
ICY:  'Misled'? He leveled two cities, killed hundreds, and he's just 'misled'?!?
MIMIC:  That right. Doppler powerful, so make bigger mistakes, but at heart, Doppler no inherently evil. Powerful mistakes hurt everyone more, so everyone *think* Doppler more evil just because do more bad things. If Doppler weak, everyone think Doppler be just another Ditto, no really good or bad. In any case, Mimic hope can restore Doppler sanity someday.
ICY:  How optimistic.
MIMIC:  Mimic have to be. Mimic see what opposite is, in Doppler. If Doppler cause mass harm, and Mimic potentially as powerful as Doppler, can Mimic cause mass good? Mimic no know how, but Mimic sure Mimic find way if Mimic keep trying.
MIMIC:  Mimic surprised few humans as powerful as Mimic. Humans created Porygon, so presumably can create other things as powerful, or even more powerful, than Mimic. But...again, no *try*, no *do*, ever. Mimic slightly disappointed no more people even *try* mass good, at least no in ways have any chance success, but Mimic must work with world Mimic find Mimic in. Is life.
ICY:  What would you say is your mission, your purpose in life?
MIMIC:  Mimic want to be the very best, like no Ditto ever was! ^_^
ICY:  Well thanks so much for being a guest on the show...
MIMIC:  Mimic glad be here. Need break from reality from time to time. Now, Mimic have question: how know Mimic is Mimic, not Doppler?
ICY:  We set up...'arrangements' for Doppler, so he would not bother us.
(The camera cuts away to show Doppler watching replays of Minax's latest kills. Most of the gore is blocked out by the camera's angle, but the NC-hearts floating over Doppler are not.)
MIMIC:  (sweatdrops)  Mimic see. Mimic think Mimic be going now, before Mimic use up lifetime allotment of impossible sights.
(Mimic disappears while Caterpies come out again.)
CATERPIES:  Now can we do our segment?
HYPER:  No, I still haven't done mine yet.
ICY:  You're not allowed to do your segment.  No hurting Leafy.
LEAFY:  Shewww...
CATERPIES:  Ok.  For our first act, we will build the tower of Caterpies!
(Audience cheers.  Caterpies form a cute pyramid and Buttercup appears on top of it.  Audience cheers again.)
ICY:  Very nice.  You all look very cute!
CATERPIES:  Thanks.  And now for the finale!
(Buttercup flutters above them.  The Caterpies freeze the pyramid with their string shot.  Buttercup flutters behind and blasts it with her pysbeam.  A multi-colored image of the pyramid flies over the audience.)
AUDIENCE:  Owwwww...  Ahhhhhh....
(Buttercup takes a bow and they all leave the stage.)
ICY:  Well.  That will be a tough one to top.
(From up on the rafters.)  CASSIDY:  We can top that.
BUTCH:  Allow us to introduce ourselves.
CASSIDY:  To infect the world with devastation!
BUTCH:  To blight all people in every nation!
CASSIDY:  To denounce the goodness of truth and love!
BUTCH:  To extend our wrath to the stars above!
CASSIDY:  Cassidy!
BUTCH:  Butch!
CASSIDY:  We're Team Rocket, circling earth day and night!
BUTCH:  Surrender to us now or you'll surely lose the fight!
CASSIDY & BUTCH:  That's Right!
(Audience cheers.)
BUTCH:  Why are they cheering?  They must like us.
ICY:  Nope.  Your motto is just better.  That's all.
CASSIDY:  Enough talk, come with us Icy.
BUTCH:  The rest of you can kindly deposit your pokéballs in this sack.
ICY:  DIE!!!
(Icy attempts to electrocute them but is unsuccessful.)
BUTCH:  You underestimate us.  We're much smarter than those pushovers Jessie and James.
(Suddenly, Jigglypuffs and Voltorbs fall from the ceiling covering Butch and Cassidy.)
CASSIDY:  This can't be good...
(KABOOMM!!!  Butch and Cassidy are covered in pink goo and charred.  They run out of the studio in terror.)
ICY:  That's it!  Show's over!  Cya next time people!
(Curtain falls, literally.)
ICY:  Aghh!  Well, that's another thing to add to the expenses...

[BACK]